What is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability is your ability to show up, be seen, and heard. It’s your ability to show up, period. In the world, with yourself, to be seen and to be heard. It’s having the courage to be seen for who you are and what you are. When we are vulnerable, it’s basically saying, “Hey, I’m confident, and I’m courageous enough to allow myself to be seen for who I am and what I am.” It’s to share how you truly feel. It’s also to ask for what you need. Vulnerability is also your ability to have hard, uncomfortable, and difficult conversations without knowing how things will turn out. Vulnerability is not a weakness. It’s actually a measure of courage.
Why Do You Resist Being Vulnerable?
Being vulnerable feels scary because of the uncertainty of the outcome. It all comes down to you wanting to control the outcome. It all comes down to you being afraid of what other people are gonna think. That’s why vulnerability feels so scary. You have no idea what’s gonna happen once you expose yourself. “If I exposed this big thing that I did or this thing that I felt or this thing that I thought, I’m gonna be exposed, and I have no idea what’s gonna happen.” There is “risk” and emotional exposure. “Rejection” is a potential outcome. This is what we think about before we even bother raising our hands, speaking up, letting ourselves be seen, letting ourselves show up. We’re already thinking two steps ahead of like, “Oh, but what if this thing happens? I better not.” So, you’re already thinking two steps forward, and you’re trying to control that outcome. You’re so afraid of what that outcome will be that you don’t even end up letting yourself be vulnerable.
Are You Resistant To Vulnerability?
Examples that you are resistant to being vulnerable:
- You put walls up, close off, and not let people in.
- You tell yourself “I don’t belong here. They don’t get me. This is stupid. This isn’t working. This isn’t for me.”
- You want to control what people think of you.
- You only show fragments of yourself fragments, stay compartmentalized
- Holding yourself back from saying how you truly feel. “I’m fine.” “I’m good.” “I don’t care.” “I don’t know.”
These are all deflections. Did you actually pause and stop and think, “What do I truly need? How am I truly feeling? What is really happening in my thoughts?” It’s like creating this massive wall so that nothing can actually come into truly how you feel, what you’re really thinking, what’s really going on. Honesty and vulnerability go together.
Benefits of Being Vulnerable
When you share yourself, when you let yourself be heard and seen, what you’re saying is, I am worth being heard. When you hide and are not willing to be vulnerable, not only are you being scared, what you’re saying is, “Well, I’m not worth being heard. I’m not worthy of being seen or heard. I’m not worthy of being listened to. I’m not worthy of being seen. I’m not worthy of sharing my story.” When we are vulnerable, we’re literally saying, “I deserve to be heard. I deserve to be held and to be witnessed.” This is you building up courage, which is ultimately confidence. It’s how we heal, and we find our worthiness. This is so incredibly important and the reason why we need to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability is Courage
Courage x Vulnerability = Perpetually Peaking. Understand that when you couple courage and vulnerability, keep on showing up, and do the scary thing, this is the ladder that you get to climb. You go from hiding in shame to being closed off, to running away, to slowly opening up. Through opening up, what happens? You receive love. Then what happens? You experience healing, which helps you build confidence, which allows you to start to accept yourself. That’s when you begin to find your power. That’s when you step into success, which leads you towards leadership, which makes you influential. Now you are also influencing, and you are helping people change their minds. You actually help people change the way they think and how they move, and how they make decisions.