How my mom taught me how to be a people pleaser by accident
I love my mom. I really do.
She would do anything for me, and I am grateful.
She taught me to be generous to others, to give more than you receive, and to barely need anything from anyone else at all.
A lot of my Asian American friends also grew up watching their moms pour their hearts into the service of their family.
The part where it got tricky was when I found myself always putting everyone else’s needs in front of my own.
I always wanted to be available and generous to the people in my life.
Somewhere in my mid 20’s, I noticed I was anxious all the time.
I think that undercurrent was always there, but I finally started to notice it, like every day.
I realized I had some serious work to do on myself because I knew this wasn’t right.
I had no clue what it actually meant to be in touch with my own feelings, needs, and desires.
I had no idea that I had been conditioned to be a total people pleaser. I had no idea how much I struggled to say no. There were a lot of narratives and beliefs that shaped these behaviors.
I know you struggle with this, too. It’s all good. Most of us do. It isn’t only an Asian American thing 🙂
I know it’s hard to see, but people-pleasing doesn’t serve us or your loved ones at all.
We have to do the work to get in touch with our feelings and know what our needs are.
When’s the last time you did that?
If this is something you need help with and you are ready to break the cycle, apply today. I will teach you how to put yourself first without putting other’s last.
That in itself is a beautiful art 🙂