Let’s face it; we’ve all been hurt by someone we care about, and there is always the urge to hold a grudge or simply not forgive those who have harmed us. We may not understand that by not being able to forgive, we end up stunting ourselves by clinging to the feelings that hurt us in the first place. One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to forgive others. Being able to forgive and let go IS the gateway to abundance and freedom. The sooner we can let go and the sooner we can forgive, the sooner we can open ourselves to all opportunities that lay before us.
Holding on = being stuck
The more resentful you are, the more it holds you back from love and connection. The less forgiving you are, the more it holds you back from making more money, seeing new opportunities, and just progressing the way you should be. It’s almost impossible to open yourself up to everything available when we are in a state of resentment. Think of this as “stuck energy.”
When we hold on, that’s when we get stuck. When we are not forgiving, we are standing in the way of prosperity and abundance. By blocking the love, which is the highest vibration, we disrupt the most direct channel to our abundance. Forgiveness is the gateway!
Forgiveness is a choice
Forgiveness is a choice; that’s all it is, a choice. It requires a deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance. This can be towards yourself, someone else, or a group who has harmed you regardless of whether you think they deserve it.
In many ways, the reason why you may not be able to forgive someone or maybe even yourself might be because you feel like you/they don’t deserve it. It may be that you think that you/they don’t deserve it because what you did was so bad, so wrong, so shameful. Forgiveness is a conscious choice, and it’s a deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment. Regardless of whether or not we feel someone deserves it or not, we have to make that distinction and know that it doesn’t serve ME to hold onto that.
Let’s make a clear distinction; forgiveness does not mean forgetting, and it certainly doesn’t mean that we are condoning or excusing someone’s bad behavior. Just because you choose to forgive doesn’t mean you’re obligated to reconcile or go back to the way things “used to be”, it merely means that you have let go of the burden of being done wrong. This then empowers you to recognize the pain you have suffered without letting that pain define you who you are, and it doesn’t become part of ‘your story” (“I’m like this because of that”).
What does it mean to let go?
- It does not mean to get rid of it. It means to let be with compassion. When we do that, things come and go on their own.
- Releasing our grip from wanting to control outcomes or know outcomes.
- Allow things to play out the way they need to. Let things run their own course.
- Choose to move forward without looking back. Keep it moving and focus on the next step. Give yourself permission to feel free and easy; make it a practice. When you have space and take a step back, this is where the answers come.
Signs we need to forgive and let go
- “It’s their fault” victim mentality
- You need to fill your cup back up by moving forward
- You look at the present day with the lens of the past, many things have changed, but you’re still the same
How to let go
- Acknowledge the pain, the wrong, or the bad behavior in others or yourself
- Give yourself the space to look at it, process it, hold it, validate it
- Take ownership of your life and decide how you want to show up (I need to make a choice/decision that I’m going to let this go. And if I’m not ready, I need to own that and know that it will probably hold me back from moving forward)
- One hour of ritual can clear 10 hours of therapy
- Call your power back in (the reason we feel resentful is that we feel our power has been taken away from us)
While forgiveness is one of the most challenging things we can do, it can also be one of the most liberating acts of self-love. Forgiving others is never about letting someone off the hook for what they’ve done, it’s about us not allowing ourselves to carry that weight and be defined by it. Sometimes, we may be the ones that need forgiveness and must learn to be honest with ourselves, knowing that an act that you regret does not have to define you forever. Even though someone is unable to forgive, we cannot punish ourselves forever for something that we have already come to understand as wrong and take personal responsibility for. We have to realize that we can’t control what people decide to do. We just have to let it go and meet them where they are.
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