Why don’t you ask for help?
I’ve been thinking a lot about how so many of my clients are such smart, amazing rock stars. There’s such high achievers. They get shit done. They always have a plan. They always know where they’re going. They always have goals, this, that and the other, but even still, by the time they come to me, they’ve hit a wall and they’re actually not feeling fully fulfilled. They’re not feeling fully happy. There’s still something that’s a little off or something that’s a little bit missing and they’re not really feeling in full control or power over their happiness and their success.
Where I see a lot of people stuck is in this belief that high achievers just hold onto with all of their might. They think it somehow protects them, or it somehow keeps them safe or it’s somehow going to make them more successful. The biggest lie that I see high achievers tell themselves is that they can figure it out on their own.
“I can figure it out on my own.”
“I don’t need help, I can do this on my own.”
“I can figure it out, I just need to work out.”
“I just need to meditate, I just need to get my journal.”
“I can figure it out on my own, I know what to do.”
“I always figure it out.”
And to a certain degree, it’s true. We’ve gotten very, very far… and I say “we” because I’m definitely that person and was that person. I was so determined to do certain things along my journey with my career and my business, I was so determined that I could figure it out and that I was smart enough and capable enough.
And ultimately, at the end of the day, what it all came down to was that I was just scared. I was just telling myself this lie. I was telling myself this lie, that “I don’t need help and that I can figure it out on my own.” And the reality is that I was telling myself that lie because I was actually afraid of rejection. I was afraid of exposure. I was afraid of people finding out that I was weak.
I was afraid of imposter syndrome.
It was just all fear, and when we dig our heels into this false belief- this lie, that we can do it on our own and that we don’t need any help- what you’re actually doing is just extending the pain. You’re just increasing your pain tolerance. You’re just prolonging the inevitable, which is that you’re going to eventually hit a wall. You’re going to actually end up feeling more stuck and you’re going to have more to undo.
You’re delaying your progress by not asking for help
Thats right, you’re delaying the process of actually getting to the other side. You’re actually delaying your fulfillment. You’re delaying your full potential and happiness.
I realized two things:
- Time is the most valuable thing you have – not money.
- We all die.
All of a sudden, it just puts things into perspective. You’re like, “Okay, well, time is the most valuable thing I have. It’s not money and I’m gonna die.”
So at that point, it’s just like, “Why wouldn’t I try to make my life as easy, efficient and painless as possible?”
Asking for help saves time – your most valuable resource
For me, getting help, not figuring it out on my own, surrounding myself with a support team, hiring professionals, hiring guides, hiring mentors and hiring coaches is my way out. It’s my way out faster so that I can enjoy as much of my life as I can right now because nothing is guaranteed.
Time is the only thing that’s constantly being wasted away and I could literally die tomorrow. There’s no guarantee that I’m gonna live till I’m 100. I could die tonight. I could die a week from now, I could die a year from now. Maybe that’s morbid, but with that perspective, I’m just like, “Dude, I just want to tap into my full potential and happiness right now. I want to be surrounded right now with as much abundance, love, community, meaningful relationships and success as possible.”
Asking for help IS the shortcut to a happier more fulfilled life
If you are somebody that is a go-getter and a high achiever and you know that you’re not fully living your best life, you know that you’re not fully the best version of yourself, you know that you are not fully accessing all of your potential, stop spinning your wheels.
What do you have to lose? Go and get help. Reach out, spend the money, invest in yourself and delay this point of time spent suffering and lower your pain tolerance.
You will be so much happier, so much more successful, so much faster. You won’t find yourself feeling stuck very often if you’re always asking for help.
I hope that is helpful. This is something that I see time and time again. People come to me because they are finally ready to give up this lie and give up this bullshit.
Make your life painless, get the shortcut and be happy.